I'm back. I've missed this space so much. Facebook & Instagram are just so easy & immediate, they kinda killed my blogging mojo but after the last month I feel like I need to come back here this safe space to talk & record things that aren't quick or tidy. For instance the events of the last month (and before) that have made me feel like I'm both losing my mind and made me more patient all at the same time
Alex broke his eye & went blind. He can see again but the reality is he went blind & I started screaming on the inside & sometimes it feels like I'll never be "quiet inside" again, now I worry all of the time. I think I might have a touch of PTSD. I can't seem to stop stressing about the safety of his new "Humpty Dumpty" eye.
For months Alex had been really struggling with self injurious behaviors, more accurately when things were not feeling right to him he'd ball his hand up into a fist & literally punch himself in the face as hard as he could. I had taken him to every doctor to have every inch of him inspected for some clue as to why he was doing that but no one could unravel the mystery. My boy was sinking into a hole and there was little I could do to help him out. We tried a lot, drugs, behaviorists, time outs, calendars, schedules... a lot. But on December 19th after an uneventful trip to Target he got into my car ok & when he got out he was totally blind.
There was an amazing surgeon, a lot of crying, lots of support & a miracle after that. Now he can see & I have a new prespective. I find his new glasses & helmet pretty cute (the helmet is only for independent times at home & at school). We went into a med place that I wasn't expecting & they are working beautifully but now I have to see him all the time. We have more help here at home yet I'm there more than before.
There is nothing more important that having him see. I never really thought of that before but suddenly nothing else was as important as that.
Scattered as usual but at least I wrote it down.